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"One More Try "Written By: ShenLong Disclaimer: I don't own the G'boys, I just borrow them from time to time to play with and return them a whole lot happier, ne? Also I don't own the song "One More Try" either; it belongs to John Farnham and as such all rights remain his. Rating: PG 13 Warnings: Sap, angst, song fic, PWP Pairings: 3x4x3 Notes: Trowa has unintentionally hurt Quatre with
his words. Will the blonde forgive him? Thanks to Yami_tai & Ryouga for the beta! // Indicates song lyrics //
"One More Try" July. 2004 ShenLong Trowa frowned as he studied the door before him, cautiously he drew one hand out of his pocket and paused at the handle. He swallowed and drew in a shaky breath. Still he hesitated and then argued briefly with his conscience. On the other side of that door his lover awaited him. The sweet, gentle natured blonde whom he had hurt with his words and actions, something he regretted deeply. Now he needed to apologize. And hope to god that Quatre would forgive him. If he didn't? Trowa didn't want to entertain that thought. His hand reached out again and this time there was no hesitation. The doorknob was firm beneath his grasp and he twisted his wrist, pushing the door open and stepping inside the room. It took a few moments for his eyes to adjust, but when they did he saw his love sitting on the bed, outlined with gold from the setting sun that poured through the window. He drew in a sharp breath as Quatre raised his head, his teal eyes still filled with pain. Trowa's heart tore in two and he hung his head in shame. Carefully he made his way over to the figure, tentatively he sat on the bed; he went to reach for Quatre's hand only to have it pulled away. Not that he could really blame him. // What kind of fool throws away the chance, "Quatre." Trowa's voice was low and pained. The blonde raised his eyes but refused to connect with Trowa's, instead he looked past his lover to a spot somewhere over Trowa's left shoulder. "Quatre, I'm sorry," Trowa tried again. "I'll understand if you never want to see me again, but please, let me explain..." "I thought you had already said enough." Quatre's voice was harsh. Trowa winced and turned away. His heart was breaking knowing that he had hurt his lover... and deeply. But how was he going to put this right? He had to try, if he didn't this would always stay between them and the chance to right it may never come again. // What good is pride when it clears the room, Damn his pride, damn his mouth. Usually he remained silent, not saying much, deeming it not worth opening his mouth unless he had something that was worth saying. This time he'd obviously said the wrong thing. While he knew he'd hurt his lover, he couldn't for the life of him understand why Quatre had wanted to keep their relationship a secret, why he hadn't told his family. He'd never said anything to Trowa about not wanting his family to know and now he had well and truly put his foot in it; and all because he'd given his blonde partner a kiss after dinner. A family dinner. One with fifteen of Quatre's sisters and some of their husbands. To say that the silence had been deafening would be an understatement. Then he'd only made matters worse by replying to the question of why had he kissed Quatre. He had no idea that Quatre's sisters were so anti gay, so needless to say his reply of 'He's my husband so why shouldn't I kiss him?' hadn't gone down well at all. In fact all hell had broken loose. Some of the words that had been thrown around the room and especially directed at himself and Quatre were new to even his worldly ears, and Trowa had found himself blushing. Unfortunately, opening his mouth further had only aggravated the situation and not appeased it as had been his intent and he'd beaten a hasty retreat before things got to the throwing stage. Now that the sisters had departed he was left with an angry, hurt husband whom he loved dearly and needed desperately to make up with. // No I don't want to leave and just say good-bye. "Quatre, please, listen to me, let me explain and then I'll leave if you want me to." Trowa reached again for Quatre's hand and this time to his relief, his husband let him hold it. Trowa swallowed and then tried again to explain himself. "I'm sorry, Quatre. I didn't know your family were so opposed to same sex couples." "I did tell you that most of them are very narrow minded." "Yes I know, but you didn't say just how bad that narrow mindedness was. Quatre, if I had known just how small minded they were I would never have said or done anything. I thought that they all knew you were gay, that you and I were a couple, that we are... married and that they had at least accepted that much." Trowa rubbed his thumb across the back of Quatre's hand. "I hadn't told them," Quatre's voice was quiet. He raised his head and looked at his husband. "I hadn't told them simply because I knew they would react this way." Tell me something, Quatre," Trowa's face grew sad. "Are you ashamed of me? Of us?" // I know sometimes I just don't say enough, Without giving his husband a chance to respond to his question, Trowa continued. "Maybe your sisters are right, you shouldn't be involved with someone like me, Quatre. You're a young, handsome man and can have your pick of anyone, maybe I'm no good for you, I'm not what you need." Trowa swallowed. "You're vibrant, alive, happy; and what am I? I don't talk much, especially the things you want to hear; I'm not able to express my feelings for you in the way you want me to and when I try to, such as tonight, I only end up hurting you even more." Trowa could feel the ache in his heart intensifying but he had to say this, had to get it off his chest and clear the air. "But there is one thing I can say, that I can show you and that is that I love you, Quatre. I love you more than life itself and I only want you to be happy. It's because I love you so much that I'm willing to let you go. You need your family, Quatre, I'm sorry I opened my mouth and caused all these problems for you. So now that I've apologized, I'll go pack my things and leave. I completely understand your anger at me and I don't blame you. All that I can say is I'm sorry and that I'll always love you." Having said his piece, Trowa went to rise from the bed and leave but Quatre's hand tightened around his and prevented the green eyed man from moving. // I remember when faith was all we had, Trowa paused and turned to look into the aqua eyes of his husband, eyes that shimmered with emotion. "Don't go, Trowa." The blonde shifted slightly and pulled Trowa back to the bed to sit next to him. So Trowa sat there and waited for his husband to speak. He knew Quatre well enough by now to know that his husband would say what he wanted once he'd formulated the words in his head and not before. The soft puff of air that escaped his husband's mouth indicated that Quatre was ready to state his words. The blonde's body shifted a little, leaning into Trowa's warmth. The mouth opened and the voice Trowa loved so much began to speak. "Do you remember when we first got together? How awkward things were as we tried to figure out our feelings?" Trowa moved slightly by way of acknowledgment. "How faith was all we had to guide us through? Faith in our feelings, that what we were doing was right?" Quatre paused for a second and stared out the window. "I remember when we used to dream of a life together, free from the ravages of war, free from the condemnations for our love." Teal eyes turned back to face his husband. "I still have those dreams, Trowa. Tell me you do too." Trowa nodded. Quatre moved again, snuggling closer. "I'm the one who should be saying I'm sorry, Trowa. This isn't your fault, it's mine. I should have told them despite knowing what their reactions would probably be. After all this is my life and I'm the one who has to live it, not them. And I want you in my life, Trowa. Please. Stay. Forgive me for my stupidity." // What kind of fool closes all the doors, Trowa felt the relief flow through him and he hesitantly brought Quatre's face to his own, then kissed his husband deeply. He'd been alone for most of his life and now, now that he'd finally let someone into his heart he didn't want to go back to that solitary life. "I'm sorry too. I should have realized." "No, it's not your fault. I'm not ashamed of us, Trowa, I love you too much to let you go." The blonde sighed and snuggled even closer. "All my life I've had people telling me what to do, how to act, what to say; but you... You don't expect me to be perfect, you're content to love me for who I am and not what you want me to be." Trowa felt the tears prickling behind his eyes as emotion swelled in his chest. // No I don't want to leave and just say good-bye, The overwhelming relief Trowa felt to know that their love for each other was stronger than the prejudice shown to them earlier couldn't be put into words. He hadn't wanted to leave, hadn't wanted to return to that solitary lonely life after tasting the love and affection he'd found with Quatre. // Will you stay with me now, give me one more try, Carefully Trowa maneuvered their bodies to lay upon the mattress, still close and then wrapped his arms fully about his lover, tucking Quatre's head under his chin. There was no need for words, the steady rise and fall of Quatre's chest against his own, the strong yet subtle heartbeat signifying his husbands life force and the warmth of the body next to his said it all. They would stay together, face whatever life threw at them and conquer all obstacles. For they had each other... And one more try. ~ Owari ~
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